So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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