There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
