Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
