at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
