It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
