i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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