the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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