I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
