I am puke
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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