ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish I only lived at night.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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