nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
