We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
