There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
