Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
