Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
