apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
