you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Randomize
