something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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