I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
