your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
