i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
