They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
