Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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