my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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