No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
