You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
