are you so shy because you have an std?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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