just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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