we made out on top of his cat.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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