You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
