he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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