morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
