the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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