Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
