first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
