I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
