Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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