and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
