Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
