addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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