i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
