Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
