i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
