:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
