we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
