I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
