Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
