Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
