you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
