Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
