i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
